Redeeming Every Chapter: Vanessa’s Story of Hope

Learning to Cry Again

I entered foster care as an infant. I don’t remember much about my early years—but I know they left lasting scars and pain. I moved through several homes before landing with the Johnston family at the age of three. 

“They taught me how to cry again. Before them, I had stopped because I had learned no one would help.“

When I started talking, I followed my new mom around asking, “Are you my mommy? Are you my mommy?” She always answered yes.

After more foster homes, and a long battle with DHS, the Johnstons adopted me when I was five. 

Lost in the Middle

Growing up as a pastor’s kid in Eugene, Oregon, I learned that Jesus loved me. Life was stable, but being different from my siblings and carrying trauma was not easy. My parents continued fostering other children. I admired their willingness to help, but watching heated arguments and threats unfold while I was still trying to heal was more than I could process. So I started acting out to get attention.

By middle school, my trauma showed up as deep depression, isolation, and self-loathing. I didn’t want to die—but I also didn’t want to live. Arguments and pain seemed to escalate until everything felt unbearable.

Then my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was terrified. I convinced myself God was punishing me. I spiraled. At one point, I tried to run away through a second-story window. My parents were heartbroken and scared, they knew we needed help.

We tried a children’s ranch in Montana, hoping it would bring healing. Instead, it brought two more months of trauma. After that, I enrolled in a small private Christian school in Oregon, but that season brought bullying and assault, which led to even more unhealthy coping.

Then, during one of my mom’s oncology appointments, she heard about Cookson Hills. I resisted the idea of another children’s home. Our first experience had been a nightmare. However, when I looked at the website and saw students who seemed genuinely happy, something in me softened. Within weeks, I packed up and moved five states away to Oklahoma at the start of eighth grade.

Learning to Belong

When I arrived, I felt both abandoned and hopeful. The campus was bright and full of people who wanted to know me. It was a lot to take in, but I was welcomed from the beginning. Slowly, Cookson became less like a place I had been sent to and more like a place where I belonged.

Home life at Cookson taught me the value of community. School became my safe place. Having adults who listened, encouraged me, and cared consistently made a bigger impact than they probably realized. Therapy also gave me space to work honestly through trauma and insecurity.

Living for God’s Approval

One of my biggest struggles was authenticity. It’s hard to be yourself when you’ve spent years hating who you are. For a long time, I didn’t believe I was worth much. But after two years at Cookson, I finally claimed my faith as my own and started spending time in God’s word. That’s when I came across a verse that would change my life.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10

This verse called me out—in the best way, it changed me. Instead of chasing validation, I began pursuing growth. I committed to my mental health and to letting God shape me instead of running from Him. And over time, here’s what he began revealing:

• He showed me that my parents hadn’t sent me away to get rid of me—they sent me here because they loved me and wanted healing for me. 
• He helped me see that not all adults are against me. 
• And most importantly, that He is my Heavenly Father who created me on purpose, exactly as I am.

Fearless Assurance

Now, as a senior, I can see just how faithfully God has carried me. He has restored and strengthened my relationship with my parents, healed places I once thought would always be broken, and given me hope for a future I never believed I would reach. There was a time I didn’t think I would survive middle school. Now, in the fall of 2026, I plan to attend the Honors College at Grand Canyon University!

Looking back, I see God in every chapter. He protected me with my adoption. He placed me in a family who introduced me to Him. He stayed with me through depression, trauma, and fear. He has walked with me at Cookson through every hard lesson and every step of healing. This gives me the fearless assurance that He will guide me through everything still to come and lead me in the direction of His choosing. 

About the Author: Vanessa, class of 2026, has been at Cookson Hills since 2021. Characterized by her friendly personality and welcoming spirit, she can be seen (or heard) talking to new people everywhere. She enjoys time with her family, fun evenings out, and doing “grandma crafts” in her spare time.