Finding Hope

 

Hi, my name is Catreena. I would like to share a little of my story and talk about the hope that I have found. My life hasn’t been easy, but I’m grateful that God has brought me through.

I was born and raised in the state of Kansas. Growing up, I knew a lot of people, but they weren’t all good. My father was an alcoholic and a drug addict. He was not in my life a lot – he only visited my family once or twice. I never knew if he actually loved me and that was a tough thing as a child. Then in the fourth grade, he passed away. It’s strange how even though we didn’t have a close relationship, his death deeply affected me.

After that, everything went downhill. I hardly ever talked to my mom and I hung out with horrible people. I began to hate God because I thought he took away my dad. I felt like my heart was ripped away from me and I was completely alone. This loneliness and anger eventually led to suicide attempts. I always felt terrible because people around me told me that I was useless, worthless, ugly, horrible, and good-for-nothing. And the sad thing was that I believed them. For pretty much all my life I believed that I had no value.

Then I came to Cookson Hills in 8th grade. At first, I was scared. I was scared that I would never change. I was scared that I would make bad friendships again. I had always struggled with bad friendships in the past and I was tired of being around people who tried to pressure me into doing things. But two weeks after arriving at Cookson Hills, I started to meet some great friends. They were so sweet. And I realized they actually cared about me and accepted me for who I am.

Now I can look back and see the changes in my life since I first arrived at Cookson Hills. That suicidal girl who I used to be is now gone. I have found better friends, and most importantly, I have made Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. It was on March 12, 2016 that I let Jesus into my life. I wanted him to help me and I wanted to follow him. I am so thankful that I am surrounded by people who love me and that I have a God who has changed my life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR — Catreena, class of 2020, is from Edwardsville, Kansas and enjoys writing, drinking sweet tea, and chilling with friends.